My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
