tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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