We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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