Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
