I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
