do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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