do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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