I'm eating all of the evidence.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
