Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
