I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Randomize
