Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
