im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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