hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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