I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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