I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
