Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
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