So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Just pee around me
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
