fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
