Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
