well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
