You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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