you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
