i was rollin on her like bob the builder
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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