dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
