I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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