Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
