happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
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