I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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