Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
