Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Will exercising make me less horny?
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