I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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