sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Randomize
