That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Randomize
