I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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