dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
