First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize