Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Randomize