i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
