I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
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