Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
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