So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
