These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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