Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
