C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
