What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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