i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
