yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
