i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Randomize
