There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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