she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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