Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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