so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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