walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
