TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Randomize
