I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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