I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
