I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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