i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
