This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I think people are normalizing furries
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize