Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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