Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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