hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
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