I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
