At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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