Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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