Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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